More often than not, children bear the brunt of premarital sex, broken homes, adultery, domestic violence, poverty, natural disasters, political mishaps, and even perverse religious systems.
Many parents see the receipts of their mistakes on their children’s faces, so instead of loving and caring for them, they make them burden bearers of their past wrongs. In this case, it is an indirect form of saying, “This child is the only reason I am suffering physically and emotionally.”
These thought patterns create a toxic environment for children to grow in; it not only affects their formative years but also shapes the kind of adults they grow up to be.
Research has shown that over two to three percent of children raised without proper love and care become adults who lack empathy. They grow up to become abusive partners, have crazy trust issues, or even repeat the same cycle of mistakes as their parents. It keeps going on and on. When does it end?
Well, some genuinely heal and break out of the trauma. Sadly, not too many of them.
In Sunday school classes, as a child, my teacher used to say, “Children are the heritage of God and the fruit of the womb is His reward” (Psalms 127:3) It was a scripture I cherished so much. It made me see that God gives good gifts and if he says I am a good gift, then I am who he says I am!
Over the years, it began to look like not all children come from God. I have seen how children were treated like they begged to be born. I have watched children being maltreated and shown little or no love. A reality that remains a shocker to me because if you didn’t want a child, why do what would make you get a child?
Honestly, this question has nothing to do with spirituality or sexual purity, but it is one that I have been asking since I was a child. But no one answered, and I just concluded that people are selfish.
Yes, selfish!
It is selfishness to prioritize your lust or pride, even though your incapacity to raise a child would breed abnormality in our society.
For example, a married man who finds it difficult to honor his marriage with his body goes ahead to commit adultery. This would create a multi-faceted problem for him, his family, and the child in the midst of it. After realizing his mistake, he may have to subject the child to being part of a family whose members have barely healed from the wound that he inflicted on them.
Now, this is not to excuse the antics of the legitimate wife and children but they would be forced to survive in that situation- doing anything to ‘fight’ for attention that was originally undivided.
I know some culture allows men to be polygamous and the wife would already know this, so there’s no excuse in that situation, right?
But it becomes far worse when in a polygamous family, the ‘man of the house’ decides to pitch his tent around a particular child and refuses to address issues impartially because his favorite child or wife’s child is involved!
Many times our judgment on these issues is lopsided because the spotlight is either on the unfaithful father or on the whims and caprices of the ‘new wife’. We forget that, caught in between the thickets of their mistakes are the children who get improper care because it takes two to nurture a child.
From gender disparity and preference to the uneven show of love to a particular child to forcing children to become adults by giving them adult-sized responsibilities or even making them do what adults do in the other room.
To digress a bit, preying on children in whatever manner or form needs to end!!
I mean, why are we still discussing child marriage, I don’t care about religious affiliations, there’s no valid excuse for rape and molestation under the cloak of child marriage.
You know we tend to do everything and anything but address the elephant in the room – our nagging emotions!
We forget to accept situations we got ourselves in, forgive one another, and heal. Instead, we pour all of that on a child we consented to birth or take care of— I highly recommend GULI by neptune3studios.
I say consented because if we abstained from sexual immorality, or see a doctor for family planning, we would enjoy the peace, joy, and gladness that a child brings.
I understand that we might be hurting and that child seems like a cute little reminder of all we’ve been through, but what I will never understand is the transfer of aggression to a child who didn’t ask to be a part of any of it in the first place.
Children are vulnerable, naive, innocent, confused, and inquisitive. They should be treated with so much love and care. They are our legacy. Our future.
Honestly, nobody has the right to ever bring a child into this world just to neglect that child.
And oh, giving birth to a lot of children is not an achievement! I have heard someone say, ‘I have to give birth to a lot of children in case one dies, I’d still have children.’, says the calculative risk people. If you know that you cannot properly take care of them, don’t do it all in the name of playing safe. Stop gambling on the lives of children!
It is time to be intentional about raising these children. It is time to embrace those cute little angels, nurture and love them, listen to them, and give them the platform to change the world, no matter how they came.
Beyond the parents; every adult should be a worthy pattern of emulation, the laws of the society should also be a reflection of the rights of children in mind. It is important to note that raising a child as a parent is one thing, but the role of society cannot be overemphasized.
Finally, children have rights just like everyone else. They have a voice that should be heard, and as we celebrate World Children’s Day, today being the 20th of November, let’s not forget to educate, impact and listen to our future.
Children have a voice and they should be heard. 🥹✨💙
Thank you Peace, this is a beautiful piece
Such a poetic response. 😂🙈
Thank you too!
So true, so powerful. Children are people too!
Yes they are! ✨
Beautiful! Thanks for sharing❤️
Thank you for reading too. 💗
Well said, I must say this is a Clarion call that should be heeded.
Thank you!
Yes it sure is!
Beyond Parents and how they subject little children to traumatic experiences, Children who in their formative years have sponges for brains and absorb everything subconsciously, there is also the problem of sibling abuse
I had a friend who had a loving father, and mother yet grew up with the same scars because her big brother abused her mentally and physically, all in the name of raising his little sister right
I think this issue is one we overlook so much and it somehow is eating deep into our family structures
Hmm. Sibling abuse.
🥹🥹🥹
We all need to heal from the things we’ve picked from society. The notion about parenting, because older siblings also ‘parent their younger ones’, and the concept of discipline needs to be unlearned!
We have been conditioned to thinking ‘spare the rod and spoil the child’ means you should abuse a child mentally and physically.
I pray that your friend heals beautifully. 🥹
Beautiful piece, mamiii🥹💗
Thank you, baby. 💗
This is a very profound read Peace, well done! Is there a way we can make every parent in the world read this?
First of, we are all going to be future parents and we are already parenting our younger siblings, that random child on our streets and the entire world!
But I’m hoping my audience shares everywhere too. 🥹🥹
This is a very good piece. Children have a voice and they must be heard.